By Chris Basten

  Besides maybe the Federal Marriage Amendment proposal and Janet Jackson's right breast, I cannot think of anything more grating to waste energy on than the Pledge of Allegiance. This idiotic misuse of time has sexed up the cultural wars to no end. The apparent controversy is if "under God" should be in the Pledge or not. I beg to differ. The real issue is adults acting like infants and arguing about what their children should be forced to do in public school settings before they start their so called educational ventures for the day.

What's in a Pledge? Submission, to put it bluntly. We teach our children that they must stand up and stare at a piece of fabric with stars and stripes on it, put their hands over their hearts, and pay their respects to what it stands for…or else. They cannot choose to sit out on such a gross adherence to political doctrines. They are scolded and singled out if they do not do what the rest of their "well-behaved" classmates are doing. Do kids really understand what the Pledge of Allegiance means or do they merely realize that they are just following orders and doing what is a daily tradition? I would guess the latter over the former.

But our immature political agendas, emotionally-charged PTAs, and the bickering of several teachers' unions create a mountain out of a molehill. The Pledge is no more than a relic of the State-worshipers and religious zealots who cannot bear the thought of anyone else not revering what they insist is so important. They are submissive to the point that they have to beg the government to force it on everyone else. In essence, they coerce others to revere what is supposed to be a symbol of freedom and miss the blatant pretense in the process.

They huff and they puff and they jump up and down. They fight with other parents and create rallies to support tradition and a Norman Rockwell/1950s orgasm of American zest and patriotism. They buy flags in bundles and plaster their cars with obnoxious bumper stickers. They love their country, damnit, and for those who would be disrespectful enough to turn their back on our great nation should be sent back to where they came from. These individuals may number in the handfuls but the squeakiest wheels always get the most oil (no Middle East pun intended).

So the issue at hand is not a certain portion of the Pledge. The problem is the whole dreaded charade in the first place. It reeks of subservience. It says that we owe our existence to the idea of a national identity. F national identity, I say. America may be a great country but I don't need to bow down and fall prostrate before it. Even my parents, who strived to help me become a self-sufficient adult, do not expect me to pledge allegiance to them every morning.

An inanimate piece of fabric most assuredly deserves nothing. While it may represent freedom, it also signifies government tyranny and occupation as it did when we invaded Iraq. It denotes the powers of a government empire and the unjust taking away of private property and individual life. I will not be forced to salute such duplicitous evil. Neither should children be bullied into doing the same. School is for learning, not the sanctimonious worshipping of sacred cows and government force.

The Pledge of Allegiance only goes to show how political and educationally-bankrupt our schools have become. All across America, public schools have become miniature Washingtons bellowing for equality and collective bargaining agreements. Children bear the brunt of such a money-grubbing, politically correct system of nonsense and popularity contests. No wonder some kids get lost in drugs, shoot their classmates, or disown their parents. Such trivial matters as the Pledge of Allegiance are more important than them, apparently. Of course I'm being facetious but these things make me wonder at times if such an offbeat interpretation isn't really so far-out.

Is the Pledge worth our time? You decide. I contend that a truly free individual cares nothing for national recognition and support. Freedom stands on its own merits and needs no ceremonial calisthenics to puff it up. It surely requires no mention of forcing others to appeal to the masses, else liberty is mocked. Besides, the Pledge is fodder for political cannons that seek to blow us off course. Most of us know what is really important but the lobbyists and bellyachers who appeal to the powers of corruption (i.e. the government) say otherwise. They think they can force us to pay for and give credence to their childish disputes about the most private of matters. Instead of every individual deciding for themselves, petty disagreements are decided in a courtroom full of select privileged people who stand to gain more and more influence in our lives than they already have.

I pledge allegiance to nothing. No government or evangelical nut-job can coerce otherwise. My life is my own and I am responsible for it whether I want to be or not. The Pledge of Allegiance gobbledygook only reminds me of what William Wallace mentioned in the movie, Braveheart. He cited something about his fellow Scotsmen squabbling amongst themselves over the scraps that fall from Longshanks' beard instead of realizing that there is something much greater worth fighting for: freedom.

So to those who bicker about "under God" in the Pledge, whether for or against, I say have your Pledge and eat it, too. It will not be of importance in the long run, for the crumbs that fall on the table matter not to the overall rights of the individual to have life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.