Posted 11:04 AM by Robert Ronald Smith

Coming to the end

The past few weeks have been a blur. Over the past several months, my mother, age 89 and living in Iowa, had displayed increasing dementia, to the point where she simply could not care for herself and was wandering at night. Through a flurry of work and some luck, I found a home with a dementia unit less than a mile from where I live, and made all the arrangements to move Mom here from Iowa on Sept. 18th. All of that was complicated by her having an identical twin living in the same facility with her, but that facility doesn't have a dementia unit, meaning it cannot be locked to prevent wandering. Using all of my convincing skills, including creating a website and printing photos of the new facility, I was able to assure the twin and her relatives that moving Mom here was the best choice. Splitting twins is probably harder than splitting spouses.

Unfortunately, Mom's condition deteriorated very quickly, including several falls, and the move became impossible just 2 days before it was to occur. A bed in the Iowa full-care unit opened up at just the right time, and Mom was moved there. Almost immediately, test results came back from scans, and I was told that Mom has inoperable bladder cancer and that death would occur quickly, perhaps within a couple of weeks. That information changed everything. Until that time, we had assumed that physical recovery was possible, and that we would be dealing with only the problem of dementia. Since that time, we have been forced to deal with her passing at any moment.

My daughter in Seattle flew in quickly, and she and I and my other daughter (local) drove to the Des Moines area to see Mom and to deal with the contents of her apartment there that she would now never return to. We spent a long weekend going through Mom's accumulation of a lifetime of things, deciding what to keep, what to give to GoodWill, and what to toss. Tough decisions and tough work... visiting Mom on occasional breaks, then going back to work. Amazingly, we finished that job done on Monday, then gave all the furniture to the home. They stored it and will give some to new immigrant employees or to new residents moving in. We packed as much as we could into the mini-van we were driving, drove back here and unloaded most into my apartment about 10:30 Monday night. That weekend was quite an experience. We gave each other high-fives for our impressive work together.

My daughters and 2 young grandsons went back the very next weekend to visit Mom. I stayed to earn some money, and to begin funeral preparations. I pulled together a large set of photos from Mom's life, scanned and improved them, and created a large (32" by 40") layout of them on the computer, which I then broke up, printed them at the same size, and my daughter and I placed them on a full-size board. From that same large computer layout, I was able to make a web page, which I added more historical information to.

For the past week, we have tried to get back to our lives... Kira back to her new job, me back to earning money that will be needed, and Lorna back to work in Seattle. We are, of course, all nervously waiting, torn between not wanting to deal with my mother's death and not wanting her to linger in her current condition. I suspect she will outlive her doctor's estimate, because she is, after all, a tough woman who will not quit easily.

Most of dealing with a parent's death is a new experience for me. My father died 31 years ago. At the time, my mother was 8 years younger than I am now, and she handled most of it. One thing I have learned from the experience is to pre-plan my passing with my daughters. Dealing with a funeral during a time of sadness and confusion is difficult... at a time when you really wish it were simple. Tradition, expense, travel, and other aspects of a funeral can combine to make the experience quite a burden for those being left behind... not my idea of what I want my children to have to go through.

Posted 1:47 PM by Robert Ronald Smith

Moving toward uncertainty

The past week seems to have been filled with confusion and uncertainty. Obviously, all those lives upset or destroyed by Hurricane Katrina have to feel that way in spades. I'm sure you could easily include all the military and civilian population in Iraq. Locally, Minnesotans I talk to are really concerned about the additional burden of an extra dollar for each pack of cigarettes, and about the increase in gasoline prices.

As is always true when government plays a major role, it is the poorer of our people who suffer the most. When you operate with little or no extra income, every upset becomes magnified... beyond the understanding of those with more affluence. What seems like an annoying inconvenience to them can be, to a poor person, a disabling change that careens through their personal budget, causing grief in other areas.

My own week was severely complicated by family problems, which is further complicated by the increases in costs. An increase of 25 cents in gas price normally wouldn't affect me much, but it certainly crimps my ability to make frequent trips to Iowa that could help ease the family problems. The federal government could reduce gas prices immediately by simply reducing the taxes, but that is never an option for politicians eager to put still more power into their own hands. The state government could have reduced many superfluous and extravagant spending items instead of nailing smokers with a ridiculous "health impact fee" that was actually illegal.

The mess in New Orleans was predicted precisely 3 years ago, and the warnings were essentially ignored by local and state government. That was further complicated by a serious reduction in funding for the federal Corps of Engineers, and response to the emergency was hampered by all the people and equipment being sent to wage our absurd war in Iraq.

Meanwhile, Congress was passing legislation filled with a record amount of pork funding, all designed to feather the caps and pad the votes for themselves back home... with absolutely no concern for the deteriorating economy or future needs of the citizenry. They build monuments to themselves while our nation's poor suffer on in helpless silence.

I hope we all noticed that Bush waited an interminable length of time before visiting the disaster in New Orleans, and that federal help was delayed to coincide with his visit, so that he could be viewed as a savior.

I won't be at all surprised if these man-made and natural disasters combine to throw our whole national economy into a tailspin. I've been describing our economy for some time as "brittle", meaning it lacks normal flexibility, and can simply CRACK at some point.

The solution? Get rid of the damned politicians of the two major parties. There IS no other solution. Will we wait until collapse before those who have the ability to withstand most problems wake up and see the light? When will the affluent in our society comprehend that they are in danger too... that if our economy collapses, they will be the LEAST able to survive?